Juvenal Behavior: Matzah and Circuses

Excess is not foreign to modern American Jewry. The prickling sense of shame that would naturally mitigate this dissipate and vulgar profligacy has been supplanted by a brazen, even militant, attitude of entitlement: I work like a dog all year, I’m entitled to enjoy myself for a week; it’s for oneg yomtov; it’s for my daughter’s wedding; my pride in outdoing the neighbors is my greatest motivator, and so on. This is unattractive behavior, and it doesn’t contribute to spiritual growth.

Now, I know that when that old Roman satirist, Juvenal, wrote "duas tantum res anxius optat-- panem et circenses," (the people) anxiously await only two things, bread and circuses, he was referring to the decline in vigor and courage and self reliance and pride that accompanied such indulgence, and this obviously does not apply to us.  Also, he said "panem," bread, not 'matzah,' and we are makpid on gebrokst, to say nothing of panem. Still, one might profitably spend a few moments, as we look to the Ramban's lesson of temperance that begins Parshas Kedoshim, considering whether virtue is comprised exclusively of observing mandates, or perhaps also of choosing wisely.

This post will be, I think, deleted after a few days. I believe that with the onset of Nissan, there are two special dates, although they are not marked on most people's calendars. One is what I call the Chag HaHamasa. Some people call it Chag HaHafshara.  On, or about, Rosh Chodesh Nissan, the freezer magically opens its doors, and wonderful hidden treats become available. This is when the Baalas Habayis empties out the freezer because Pesach is around the corner, and starts to serve the jelly cookies, kreplach, and helzlach that she hid during the year (in case "mentchen" came and she needed to serve them something special.) This is Chag Hahamasa-- the Defrosting Holiday. The other is the Chag HaBoser, the Month of Sour Grapes, which begins right after Purim. This is the season when people start stressing about the work and expense of Pesach, and look next door and see that their neighbor is out shopping for sandals to wear at the resort they're flying off to for Pesach. Suddenly, they develop a full blown sense of Puritan glower, and decry the wastefulness and immodesty that characterizes "some people's" holiday plans.  So, maybe if I were going to Acapulco I would have an entirely different perspective.

In my case, my baruch hashem fruitful progeny require my presence, so attending an organized program is not an option. But I know how dangerous the Chag Haboser syndrome can be, and how it can makes fools of us all. I have a neighbor whose son was in shiduchim, and we asked his mother if he would be interested in a relative of ours, and she answered I can't even think about it, we have a long list, and it wouldn't be fair, etc. Two months later: not ten years, or one year, but two months later, she came moaning to us that her daughter has such trouble finding a shidduch, "every good boy has lists. Lists!" she said, "The injustice! Why should 'Lists' matter in such important things like shiduchim!" Our neighbor was not kidding. There wasn't a trace of an ironic smile on her face. She honestly couldn't associate her attitude on the 'girl' side of the fence with her attitude when she was on the 'boy' side of the fence. Apparently, an element of this syndrome is unwittingly making an

fool of yourself. I can't say that I'm immune to this problem. Envy and honest self-awareness are antagonists. So, just in case this post was influenced by the Chag Haboser, I am making this post temporary.

Addendum 4/28/08:
Out of respect for the kind comments, I am going to leave this as it is. Anyway, I don't have the heart to delete the eizel.